Things the Pediatrician Told Me That Made Me Laugh…

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Then cry and question everything I’m doing as a parent.

Max’s 1-year well visit with a new pediatrician went… well. In one breath the pediatrician was “very impressed”: he’s walking, babbling, and communicating with gestures. And yet I left there feeling like a total idiot. Like I’ve been some sort of slacker mom for the last year. Here’s the gist of how our conversation went:

Pediatrician: You shouldn’t be relying on milk to put your baby to sleep anymore.

In my head: Ok lady, you come over at bedtime

 

Pediatrician: He shouldn’t be using bottles anymore

In my head: WTF. Just WTF

 

Pediatrician: He is sucking too much, you shouldn’t be using soft tip sippy cups anymore, they should be hard and drip.

In my head: Great, I just bought and washed 4 new soft tip sippy cups. Now I have contraband.




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Pediatrician: [As I feed Max goldfish] You need to make sure you are giving him the healthiest snacks and limit the processed foods

In my head: Well, we’ve been in this doctors office for two hours now and I’m trying really hard to pay attention to you, so this is what he gets.

 

Pediatrician: [Opens diaper] See these bumps…? You should be using diaper cream with an anti fungal ingredients.

In my head: So those red bumps are different than the other red bumps that look exactly the same. I see.

 

Pediatrician: [Max sounding congested] What kind of nasal care are you doing?

In my head: You mean like wipe his nose when it runs?

Me: Nothing routine

In Pediatrician’s Head: Judging, judging, judging

Pediatrician: I’m surprised no one has ever told you to use a saline spray in the mornings to help with the constant congestion.

In my head: I can’t wait to add nasal spray to our morning routine, he’s going to love it!

 

Pediatrician: Have you been giving him vitamin D drops?

Me: No

In Pediatrician’s Head: Judging, judging, judging

Pediatrician: You should start and give an extra drop to catch up

 

The silly thing about the whole thing is, Max is doing amazing. And I switched pediatricians because I felt like I needed a little more “hand-holding” than I was getting at his previous one. She is doing exactly what I wanted but my insecurities got the best of me after this appointment. So I amazon-primed new sippy cups, vitamin d drops, saline spray, and anti fungal diaper cream and I have three months until his next well visit.

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1 Comment

  1. Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the website is really good.

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